Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
