Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
