My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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