Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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