I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
