I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
