Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
