i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
