Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
