does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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