??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
