You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
