the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
