in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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