My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
