I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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