I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
