He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
