Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize