its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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