Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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