im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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