You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
