I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
