I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
