This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
