You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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