So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we're making bets on your personal life
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
