Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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