If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Randomize
