Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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