dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
