do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.