whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow