Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
