there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
