I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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