He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
