And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
