dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
