I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
