He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize