Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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