Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
