The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
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I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
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You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome