If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
