i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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