How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
