JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
