then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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