maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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