Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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