took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
