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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.

  (786): View more from Florida

  How high are you right now..

  (305): View more from Florida

  I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.

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• (607): View more from New York

  My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  Don't judge me.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.

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