How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize