It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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