You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
