I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
