I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize