i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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