Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
