I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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